The Chaos of the American Christian Home

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The following article is from Terry Coomer, founder of Hope Biblical Counseling in Littlerock, AR.

In more than 38 years of ministry, Kim I have had the opportunity to counsel with many a husband and wife about their home, marriage, and children. It is always sad to see homes in chaos like so many homes today in the church. The family attends church, but their lives are filled with chaos, drama, sin, and failure. No wonder we have so much failure today in the lives of the second generation of Christian homes. Generally, I find the chaos to come from eight areas. I am listing them in no particular order:

1. Financial issues
2. Moral issues
3. Relationship issues-friends, extended family etc.
4. Children issues
5. Abuse issues
a. Alcohol-drugs
b. Bum syndrome-Don’t want a job can’t keep a job.
c. Physical abuse
d. Pornography
6. Unsaved/carnal mates
7. Social media (Internet issues)
8.  Anger issues

All of the above are always caused by a lack of having a real, intimate personal, and passionate relationship with God. Most Christians have gotten saved, and the disciplining they received was to come to church faithfully, go soul winning, tithe, and be involved in the activities of the church. There is nothing wrong with these things if we have a real relationship with God. However, the average Christian believes these are the things that make them spiritual. It is a “doer” mentality. It is the wrong mentality and it leads to a chaotic life.

What about the issues I mentioned above? They are all sins that come about because of the lack of focus in the spiritual realm.

I have listened to Christians who have their finances so messed up that they are robbing God each week. They can be terribly in debt.  Credit cards are used and interest is accruing at an alarming rate.  No matter what the financial issue is, it is a poor testimony to rob God and not pay our bills on time. Many times this is just a “lust” issue. I can spend hundreds of dollars I do not have on activities, toys, sports, eating out, vacations, clothes etc. and then complain that I do not have enough money!

Foolish spending and lack of self-control creates chaos in the home. I always encourage people to stop, think, and write down how much money they spent in a month on activities, toys, sports, eating out, vacations, clothes, and non-essential items. It takes spiritual discipline to say no. Many people are so out of control with their lack of understanding of this and just chalk it up to “this is what makes them happy.” If I am in debt the proper way to start in a right way financially is, I need to prayerfully cut out all non-essentials. By the way, if you rob God because of foolish spending, your financial situation will only get worse. For men, they need to understand this creates insecurity in their wife. Wife, for the husband it creates an attitude of bitterness toward the wife when the wife cannot understand foolish spending cannot be done.  While I do not have time here to go through a complete financial scenario, I want you to understand God has to be first in your life.

Matthew 6:33, But seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you.

I have seen people not come to church because they “did not have the money” and a few days later be gone on a trip or an activity! Of course, chaos ensues in their life and home and they wonder why.

Realize that if you have debt do not be satisfied with it and understand changes need to be made to get your debt and financial house in control.  Here is the person who spends foolishly and then prays for God to “get me out of this mess.” Let me see if I can help here, maybe I should be praying in my relationship with God, “Lord do you want me to do this, have this, spend this or participate in this?”  Make no decision until you know what God wants you to do. If I have many bills the best way to start is to take the lowest one first and pay it off and then follow the same order using the extra money to pay off my bills not spend some more!

Remember, giving to God is not an option, it is a command.  Malachi 3:8-10, II Corinthians chapter 8, 9, and10.

Proverbs 3:9, Honor the Lord, with thy substance, and with the first fruits of all thine increase.

I remember counseling a man several years ago who came to our church services and walked right up to me and said, “I need help my marriage and home is falling apart.”  At the end of the service he fell on the altar weeping and going on.  When we met to talk about his situation, he professed to be a Christian.  His wife had committed immorality, he was drinking every night, and his four children were scared to death of what they would come home to.  The first three weeks I knew the man and his wife he or she would throw out the other person’s clothes into the front yard every night.  Of course, they fought about money (never gave anything to the Lord) and just about everything else. He was addicted to alcohol and was arrested more than once for hitting and shoving his children. He refused to do anything he was instructed to do.  His home and his life are shattered with divorce, addiction, jail and fractured children.  His wife ran out and got pregnant by another man when she already had children with 4 men!  His children hate both parents and just want peace.  What am I describing? Total chaos!

Nothing will tear up a family more than moral issues. Moral issues are nothing more than a live for the “lust of the flesh mentality.”

James 1:14-15, But every man is tempted when he is drawn away of his own lust and enticed. Then when lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin: and sin when it is finished, bringeth forth death.

I recently read that 40 percent of all marriages end today because of social networking. Also, that many divorce filings mention Face book by name. Social networking is a craze, but many Christians never ask the question, “is this an idol of my heart? Lord should I be doing this?” A person can be unfaithful in the mind and heart as well as physically. Moral issues create chaos in lives and in the home.

It is amazing to me how carnal minded people can be about extended family. They allow their children to be around people who cuss, yell, scream, and talk vulgar and suggestive.  They allow their children to interact with family members who are actively involved in pornography and wonder why their children have no desire for God. The grandparents, mother in law, father in law, sister, brother, aunt, uncle, cousins, runs their home or creates chaos if they don’t! How sad that we think that we have to allow these things in our life and home.

Genesis 2:24, Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife and they shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. 

Many Christians allow ungodly things in their home and life because “they are family” that they would never put up with from someone else.

Children who do not have a real relationship with God will create chaos in the home. Whoever has the child’s heart has the child. If the parents don’t have the heart then horrible things will occur. Rebellion in a child is caused because the heart has been lost, then hardened, then stolen. Friends can be a powerful influence in a child’s life. I am amazed at the number of non-spiritual Christians who think friends and family are more important than a walk with God! It does take some spiritual discernment to know how to handle the heart of a child.  Your goal in life is to glorify God and get the heart of your child and keep it.

1 Corinthians 6:19-20, What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?  (20)  For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s.

Proverbs 23:26, My son, give me thine heart, and let thine eyes observe my ways.

The carnal (selfish) Christian cannot discipline and parent themselves let alone their children.

The church is filled with chaos today because of people living for their lusts and refusing godly instruction.

Something that is very important is for a Christian to learn to be correctable.  Most Christians are not correctable because it would interfere with the lust(s) of their life.

Many years ago, my wife was doing here devotions one morning and she came in and asked me a question.  “Do you think most Christians understand about correction?”  My answer was, “no I do not think that they do.”  She then read to me the following passage of Scripture.

Proverbs 9:6-12, Forsake the foolish, and live; and go in the way of understanding.  (7)  He that reproveth a scorner getteth to himself shame: and he that rebuketh a wicked man getteth himself a blot.  (8)  Reprove not a scorner, lest he hate thee: rebuke a wise man, and he will love thee.  (9)  Give instruction to a wise man, and he will be yet wiser: teach a just man, and he will increase in learning.  (10)  The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom: and the knowledge of the holy is understanding.  (11)  For by me thy days shall be multiplied, and the years of thy life shall be increased.  (12)  If thou be wise, thou shalt be wise for thyself: but if thou scornest, thou alone shalt bear it.

Who are people who end up being scorner’s?  Those who are not correctable.  A scorner is someone who will never take correction, and will seek to hurt and in fact will “hate” those who give them godly correction.  They will always have a spiritual spin on their lack of being correctable and will create chaos for everyone around them. They will attack the people who correct them and speak negatively about them.

Definition of scorn. 1: open dislike and disrespect or derision often mixed with indignation.2: an expression of contempt or derision. 3: an object of extreme disdain, contempt, or derision: something contemptible.

Honestly, there are many more “scorners” in the church today than we think.  Their life is a total disaster and they create chaos wherever they go. The Bible says in Provers 9:12, If thou be wise, thou shalt be wise for thyself: but if thou scornest, thou alone shalt bear it.

Something I have shared with people is there are three very important things to learn in the Christian life.

1.  It is important that you learn how to handle hurt biblically.
2.  It is important you learn how to handle correction biblically.
3.  It is important that you learn how to trust God.

Learning how to handle the first two will determine the third one.

The abuse issues of alcohol, drugs, physical abuse, and the dysfunctional family are all outlays of the things above. They are “lust” issues. They create chaos in the home.

Finally, the unsaved or non-spiritual mate creates havoc in the home. Sadly, many a young girls’ life has been ruined by an unsaved mate, or a person who professes to be saved but has no interest in really walking with God. Chaos follows this person in their life. Many ladies have called or sat across from me and my wife crying about the lack of spiritual desire of their husband and the chaos in their home. These people kill the spiritual desire of their mate and their children.

Our churches are filled with people who have chaos in their life, but no real desire to change anything. They want God to do something about it, when God tells them to do something about it. TO HAVE A REAL RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM!

Ephesians 4:22-24,  That ye put off concerning the former conversation the old man, which is corrupt according to the deceitful lusts;  (23)  And be renewed in the spirit of your mind;  (24)  And that ye put on the new man, which after God is created in righteousness and true holiness.

A real relationship with God. How does that happen?

 Galatians 5:25, If we live in the Spirit (we are saved) let us also walk in the Spirit.

So, the answer is to have a real relationship with God by walking in the Spirit.

I want you to notice in Galatians 5:19-21 that a person who is not walking in the Spirit will be involved in the lust of the flesh.

Galatians 5:19-21, Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these: Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness (unbridled lust), Idolatry, witchcraft (same word we get our word drugs from), hatred, variance (person who quarrels with everyone and everything), emulations(an attitude of deep rage, jealousy and envy), wrath, strife, seditions (division and dissension), heresies, Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revelings (orgies, carousing), and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.

Folks, if a person can continually and habitually do these things and is never convicted about them by the Holy Spirit, he or she is lost. However, there are people who are saved who do such things and are miserable as they are convicted by the Holy Spirit. The end result is the person is deceived.

Galatians 6:7-8, Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsover a man soweth, that shall he also reap. For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting.

So, if I do not have a real relationship with God through the Spirit of God, I will have a disaster even though I go to church, read my Bible daily, pray, and memorize the Bible. The person who does these things without a real relationship with God is mocking God (means they treat God with contempt). Unfortunately, a number of people in church fall into this category. They sow to the flesh because of a lack of a relationship with God.

Galatians 5:25, If we live in the Spirit (we are saved), let us also walk in the Spirit.

Folks, we have to have a real relationship with the Spirit of God to control our walk. Otherwise the devil will control our soul and he will control our walk. God speaks to our spirit from the inside of us. The devil seeks to control our soul by putting outside pressure on us.

Our relationship with God is a matter of worship. The Holy Spirit of God speaking to our spirit. One of the great joys of my life is to daily have God speak to me through His Word. John 4:24, God is a Spirit: and they that worship him must worship him in spirit and in truth. My daily time with God is worship.

How to Be Filled and Controlled By the Holy Spirit

Now, let’s talk about how to have that real relationship with God and be filled with the Holy Spirit. When I met Kim, who is now my wife, I decided I wanted to have a relationship with her. I wanted to be around her. I wanted to talk to her and listen to her. Communication is the most important thing about building a relationship. A relationship is not a one way street. It is a two way street of talk and listen, listen and talk. God speaks to my spirit through His Spirit through His Word. To have communication with God I must first deal with my sin. So, to have a real relationship with God and be filled with the Spirit I must do several things:

I have to deal with my sin daily. Remember – talk and listen, listen and talk. I learned several years ago to ask God if there was any sin that stood between me and Him that day. Lord, show it to me. He will. When He does, I need to confess the sin and turn from it, I John 1:9. I am now free to communicate with God. You know, I found out how gracious and loving God is as He dealt with me through His Word in dealing with my sins. Sometimes it almost literally hurt to see how ugly my life was. The joy of sins forgiven and the degree to which God now opened His Word to me I thought was incredible. Then I would ask the Lord, “Please fill me with your Spirit, I submit myself to you.”

We developed a program here at Hope Biblical Counseling Center several years ago called “How to Have a Daily Time With God”. The premise is to have a notebook called a “Daily Spiritual Diary”. Each day I use a page of the notebook, and write down 1. God’s Message to Me Today. 2. A Promise from God. 3. A Command to Keep. 4. My Application. 5. Additional Comments. I recommend you have a composition notebook for your “Daily Spiritual Diary”. Folks, the notebook does not lie as I put the date of each day right at the top. It is a record of my faithfulness in my relationship with the Saviour.

Each day I ask God to give me His message for me today. In essence, I want to hear from God for real. “Lord, show me what you have today for me from your Word. Please make it real to my life.” Folks, God does not bless Bible readers; He blesses Bible meditators.

Psalm 1:1-6. Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful. But his delight is in the law of the LORD; and in his law doth he meditate day and night. And he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that bringeth forth his fruit in his season; his leaf also shall not wither; and whatsoever he doeth shall prosper. The ungodly are not so: but are like the chaff which the wind driveth away. Therefore the ungodly shall not stand in the judgment, nor sinners in the congregation of the righteous. For the LORD knoweth the way of the righteous: but the way of the ungodly shall perish.

As I am reading down through my Bible, when the Holy Spirit shows me a truth I stop! I read the verse over several times. I break down the verse. If I do not know what some words mean in the verse, I look them up. Listen carefully, the reason I stopped is because I have asked the Holy Spirit to give me His message for me today. God speaks to my heart (meditator) about this passage. Meditating is thinking about the passage.

Psalm 119:11, Thy word have I hid in mine heart, that I might not sin against thee. 

This verse is not about memorizing the Bible for knowledge purposes – it is about putting it in your heart (mediator). I am stopped to listen to God. It is time to stop (not talk), and listen and learn from the Master Teacher. I then write it down in my own words. I then proceed and the Holy Spirit stops me again for a promise, command, etc. I dissect the verse that the Holy Spirit has stopped me on.

Psalm 19:14, Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O Lord, my strength, and my redeemer. 

I have a page in my “Daily Spiritual Diary” where I write special thoughts from God and meditate on them. I want to have a real relationship with the God of the universe and I want Him to speak to me. I then write down under “My Application” what all this means to me and how I can apply it to my life. I write it down in my own words, sometimes as a prayer.

Now we come to the prayer time. Remember a relationship is about talk and listen, listen and talk. The essence of the Christian life is to ask God questions. That is submission. As I come to prayer, I ask God to speak to my spirit today about what He wants me to pray about. “Lord what do you want me to pray about today?” This is very important. Remember I John 2:15-17 where the devil is seeking to control my life through outside pressure through the lust of the flesh (an overwhelming desire to do), lust of the eyes (an overwhelming desire to have), and the pride of life (an overwhelming desire to be). Listen carefully, after asking God what He wants me to pray about today, and praying about it as He speaks to me. I then ask God what He wants me to do today, what He wants me to have to day, and what He wants me to be today. Effectively, I have disarmed the devil’s approach by turning these three areas over to God. Folks, would it not be better to pray about what God wants you to do, have, and be? The people who come through our counseling program are always talking about what they want to do, what they want to have, and what they want to be. I know immediately they are being controlled by the devil’s influence on their soul and he is controlling their body and therefore controlling what they ultimately do.

There are three more things I want to ask God about. First of all – who does He want me to witness to today? Then I stop talking (be quiet) and listen to God. Remember a relationship is a two way street, talk and listen, listen and talk. After God tells me who to witness to today, I then ask him who He wants me to encourage today? When He brings up that person I pray for them and then maybe give them a call or write them a note. Thirdly, I ask God what I can praise Him for today? There are many passages of scripture that tell us to praise God. However, I want to know what He wants me to praise Him for. Why do I pray about whom to witness to today, encourage today, and to praise God for? Because I am focusing on others and not myself. When most Christians pray they have a list and they go down it and it is, “Lord give me this and I want that or let me be this.” It is a self-righteous way to pray and it is not accomplishing anything. It is the focus of the devil to get the Christian to love the world.

I John 2:15, If any man love the world the love of the Father is not in Him.

Does that mean he is lost? No, it means he does not have a real relationship with God. His love is somewhere else – toward the world. When you develop a real relationship with the Saviour, it will be a love relationship. Think about it, the God of the universe is speaking to me and I am listening to Him. I am talking to Him and He is listening to me! What will really effectively increase your faith will happen when you ask God what to pray about, and He tells you and you pray about it and it is answered. When was the last time you had a real answer to prayer? Are you self-righteously praying?

I use to play professional baseball as a pitcher. When I would stand on the mound I would look at the catcher and ignore the hitter. When I threw a 92 mile an hour fast ball by the hitter, I was focused on me and the catcher. In baseball terms it was called “he is in the zone.” Nothing else was focused on. I liken that to my relationship with God. It is personal (between me and God), intimate (it is a love relationship, very close to each other), and passionate (there is real desire there). Nothing motivates you more than to know that God will speak to you today and will hear you speak to Him. Talk and listen, listen and talk.

Without the intimate, personal, passionate relationship between God and me, I am doomed to disaster after disaster and failure in many parts of my life. It will always affect my wife and children. If I am living the Christian life in unrighteousness or self-righteousness (seeking to live the Christian life in my own power), I am doomed to a lot of pain and destruction in my life. The devil really does not care if I live the mechanical Christian life – either way it is fine with him.

You must learn the submission principle.

James 4:7, Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.

The devil every day, multiple times a day, will put outside pressure on your life. He does this many times with our lusts.

Romans 6:12-19, Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, that ye should obey it in the lusts thereof. Neither yield (submit) ye your members as instruments of unrighteousness unto sin: but yield (submit) yourselves unto God, as those that are alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness unto God. For sin shall not have dominion over you: for ye are not under the law, but under grace. What then? shall we sin, because we are not under the law, but under grace? God forbid. Know ye not, that to whom ye yield (submit) yourselves servants to obey, his servants ye are to whom ye obey; whether of sin unto death, or of obedience unto righteousness? But God be thanked, that ye were the servants of sin, but ye have obeyed from the heart that form of doctrine which was delivered you. Being then made free from sin, ye became the servants of righteousness. I speak after the manner of men because of the infirmity of your flesh: for as ye have yielded (submitted) your members servants to uncleanness and to iniquity unto iniquity; even so now yield (submit) your members servants to righteousness unto holiness.

So, how do I submit? I have to learn to submit and be controlled by the Holy Spirit at different times throughout the day at the point of spiritual impact. Every time a lust, evil thought, or outside pressure comes up, which I call the point of spiritual impact, “Lord, I want to turn this over to you. Forgive me for this thought or desire and I want to turn from it. I submit myself to you to be controlled and filled by the Holy Spirit.” In the book of Philippians it talks about “Rejoicing in the Lord always.” The only way to rejoice in the Lord always (moment by moment) is to be a Spirit controlled person by submitting at the point of impact.

Philippians 4:4-9, Rejoice in the Lord alway: and again I say, Rejoice. (5) Let your moderation (self-control) be known unto all men. The Lord is at hand (in your life). (6) Be careful (anxious) for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. (7) And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. (8) Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. (9) Those things, which ye have both learned, and received, and heard, and seen in me, do: and the God of peace shall be with you.

I want you to notice in verse 6 the phrase “prayer and supplication.” Supplication means to ask for something humbly (submitted). Then I want you to notice in verse 6 thanksgiving. Then notice in verse 8praise. So, at the point of impact rather than be anxious Lord I want to turn this over to you, I ask you to forgive me, I want to submit this to you and to be controlled by the Holy Spirit. Since most problems begin in the mind, Lord what do you want me to praise you for and thank you for? Then verse eight comes to play proper Spirit controlled thinking rather than let your mind worry, fret and think on the wrong things. It must become a daily moment by moment part of your life to be a Spirit controlled person.

Hebrews 13:15, By him therefore let us offer the sacrifice of praise to God continually, that is, the fruit of our lips giving thanks to his name.

In the Bible, the heart and the mind are used interchangeably.  There is a very important principle in II Corinthians 10:5, Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;

See the word imaginations?  It means fantasies.  Every person who is rebellion in their life is because they are living in a fantasy world.  A place where they allow their minds to run off and fantasize about living in another time, another place, with another woman, another man, being immoral with a boy or girl, man or woman, sports, activities etc..  Many people spend hours in their virtual reality world where they think no one else sees.  Let me clue you in God sees!

II Corinthians 10:4, (For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds;)

Notice the phrase, “For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strongholds.

We wrestle not against flesh and blood. Therefore, our weaponry is not carnal (fleshly). However, it is in fact powerful through God for the pulling down of strongholds. (Interesting word).  Strongholds where?  In the mind.  The word strongholds literally means “a heavily fortified containment and is used of a false argument in which a person seeks “shelter” (a safe place) to escape reality.”  Ephesians 6:13-18 describes some of the spiritual weaponry God has given for us.

When a person is in rebellion to their parents, Biblical authorities, boss, etc. it never fails that they have not controlled their thought life or they do not know how to do so.

The essence of the submitted Christian life is to ask God questions. Remember James 4:7 says the devil is involved and the only way to walk in the Spirit is to have a submitted life with God. That is where our power comes from, being submitted moment by moment, at the point of spiritual impact. In the question asking with God, use the: who, what, when, where, how, and why method. Lord who do you want me to witness to today? Lord what do you want me to pray about today? Lord, what can I praise you for today? Questions are submission. Remember to stop, think, turn it over to God, and listen. Always ask God questions.

The sadness of the hour in which we live is that many Christians do not have a real relationship with God. Folks, do not think that I have said memorization of Scripture is not good. It is, but by itself will create a self-righteous life. If you memorize it, meditate on it. How does God speak to you through the verses? Also, you have to read your Bible to meditate, but you have to stop to study and listen to the Spirit of God when He wants to show you what He wants for you from God’s Word. Do not just keep on going because you have three or four chapters you must read today. You have to stop and listen! A real relationship requires we spend quality time together. Kim is my best friend. She is someone I can talk to and listen to. She is the love of my life. My relationship with the Lord is to be like that as well.

We have a booklet on our web site www. hopebiblicalcounselingcenter. com called, How to Have A Daily Time With God. It will show you step by step how to have an intimate, personal, passionate relationship with the Saviour. Remember, my baseball story. While I was pitching, the infielders behind me would chatter to try to distract the hitter and disrupt their concentration. I was in the zone, just me and the catcher. After the pitch, I would hear an infielder say, “Way to go, hum baby!” When you have a real intimate personal, passionate relationship with the Lord, you are in the zone and humming. When the devil comes along with his outside pressure, you are focused on the Spirit of God speaking to your spirit, and your soul is then controlled by the Spirit of God and so is your body, thus you are Spirit controlled and walking in the Spirit.

When there is outside pressure from the devil, instead of responding to people with anger, meanness, harshness, or other responses, you are responding with the fruits of the spirit,

Galatians 5:22-22, “love, joy, peace, long-suffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, and temperance.”

Once I learned what it was to have a real relationship with God, as a father, I knew I had to teach it to my children. I wanted them to really know the Lord. I discussed it with them about what all this meant. I wanted them to know how to have a real relationship with God. Without a real relationship with God their lives will be a disaster when they leave my house. Many times I would ask my daughters when they were growing up, “What is God speaking to you about?” Their answers were always revealing to me. I did not just hope it would happen. I wanted them to taste of the Lord and see that He was good! We spent time talking about our relationship with God. I would ask them what God was speaking to them to pray about. We talked about it and as they got older they would come with real excitement to tell me what God was speaking to them about or what God had taught them. We would have that excitement and joy together.

I believe the principle of Ephesians 6:4 is very important here.

And, ye Fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: 

How would a father provoke his children to wrath? Could it be because he did not teach them to have a real relationship with the Lord? So they learn in their lives, when the outside pressure comes from Satan, how to respond by being controlled by their soul and respond in the dictates of the flesh. One of those is “wrath”, Galatians 5:19-21. The rest of Ephesians 6:4 says, but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. It means training with structure. I say again folks, how can a parent get the heart of their child and train them to have a relationship with the Lord if they are living a self-righteous (living the Christian life in their own power) or unrighteous life? It is not going to happen and the end result for the child’s life is the works of the flesh list of Galatians 5:19-21. (Read that list over and meditate on it. Are you or your children in that list?). The kind of life the self-righteous Christian lives is a real grind. It is over and over the same thing – keeping the rules, but not experiencing the power of a real relationship with God. The Christian who lives that way takes on the 19 characteristics (from II Timothy 3:1-5) of the apostate age in which we live. How does it end? “Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof:” What a miserable life and a destructive life! It does not have to be that way. We can have victory through the power of the Spirit of God who indwells us and wants us to have a real relationship with Him.

If you do not know what to do and need help because you are caught in the sins of the flesh because of outside pressure from the devil, feel free to contact us. May God help you today to seek to have a real relationship with Him and a Holy Spirit controlled life.